4 hours later

The weekend your Papa came to visit, we had our family over for dinner. You did a great job of providing the evenings entertainment. You were clever enough to stuff the only set of keys your aunt Steffy owns down the central vacuum pipe. Funny thing about that pipe, is that the central vacuum system was never properly I installed, and therefore never used, leaving us in a predicament on how to retrieve those keys you so generously hid.

After mapping out plans, shoving every item that we could think of down there, and eventually cutting not only dry wall but several central vacuum pipes, we found the keys, along with some money and a hot wheel car.

 And can you believe it, this guy still shared all of his food with you even after this mess. You sure are loved.

the domino effect

Asher threw up on me Saturday. All down the front of my shirt, just minutes before leaving the house. Since he is known to spit up pretty frequently, I didn't think to much about it. That night he threw up a little more. I was close enough to  a bathroom to actually lean him over the toilet. His aim was impeccable. But I was now a little concerned. 

Within hours I was feeling nauseous. Another hour later, I found myself hunch over the toilet vomiting.  Sadly, with not as good of an aim.

I had hoped that this was over. 

In the middle of the night, using as little light as necessary to ensure everyone stay asleep, I found myself disinfecting our house. I laugh looking back. I was feeling horrible, and it required me dragging a waste basket around just in case, all to prevent what was sure to come anyways. With every wipe I felt more and more sick. 

It was just then I heard a little gag on the baby monitor. I shook your dad who went running down to check on his boys. Sure enough, you were covered in your own vomit, and so was your bed, and the walls. We couldn't even get you upstairs and in a shower before you threw up again.

The remainder of that evening you threw up on another six blankets. By morning you had thrown up on all of the bedding we own. Laundry was being done around the clock. 

Dad had a meeting at 6am, which he surprisingly stayed awake for considering he had spent most of the evening bathing one child or another, and constantly doing laundry. It was on his way home from his early meeting, about 8am, when he was grabbing us some necessities, he started to feel sick.

Over the next twelve hours, you, me and your dad were either sleeping, or dry heaving.

When we thought things couldn't get worse, we all broke out into fevers. It was evident that you wanted to peel over just as much as mom and dad when you refrained from getting up, or moving in the slightest after you had tripped and fell onto your own mattress.

Fortunately it was a short bug. By morning the next day you were requesting cereal like nothing had happened.

So when one person gets sick, no matter how much you try to disinfect, every one gets sick, hence the domino effect. 

Lesson learned: check your facts before arguing with a two year old

It comes as no surprise that you LOVE animals. Most of your first words were animals. It's the only thing you can hold a conversation about. You even have an active imagination and a friendly elephant by your side at all times. You have never ceased to amaze me how quickly you pick up on anything animal related. So, with all this being said, I shouldn't have found myself in the following situation to begin with, but I did.

A week or so a go you were doing anything to get my attention, and once you had it you would repeat "o-cup-ee!" I thought for sure you meant "a cup please." So I handed you a cup. You only started repeating it more quickly. "o-cup-ee, o-cup-ee, o-cup-ee!" When that didn't work, I found more cups. Now you were not only repeating quickly, you were doing so more and more loudly. I want nothing's more than to help encourage you to use your words and I was failing to understand what you so desperately were wanting me to know. When I had given you every cup with every different kind of drink in it and you were still not satisfied, I gave up. I figured you were ready for a nap and it was over.

Well, it didn't end there. Before going to bed the other night you were at it again, "o-cup-ee!" This time you were showing me a book of African animals. You were pointing to an animal that resembled a brown horse with zebra striped legs. I tried to explain to you that it wasn't a cup, it was a horse with zebra legs. This response was not good enough. I then found myself in an argument with you

Gage: "O-cup-ee!"

Mom: "No, zebra horse, it's a horse with zebra looking legs!"

Gage: "Haha no, o-cup-ee!"

Back and forth and back and forth, you thought it was so much fun. We laughed and argued for a few minutes. I didn't know how else to describe to you in terms you would understand what I was seeing, and clearly you were unable to do the same. I finally pulled out the iPad and searched what we were looking at.

An "Okapi" is a distance relative to the giraffe.

Wow, I screwed up. Turns out I don't need to talk to you like my baby anymore. You understand way more than I give you credit for. I love that you love to learn, and I love that occasionally you will let me hold you while you tell me all about the animals you find in EVERY single book.

 Don't ever stop learning.

How to: really keep a Friday interesting

This post is not for everyone, its simply a documentation of my horrific Friday, all thanks to my one and only Gage. Please do not continue if you get queezy at the site of baby waste

You are getting pretty good at this potty training thing. I still wish you would tell me more often that you need to go, instead of me recognizing "oh, no! he needs to go!' and running you to the bathroom. Well on Friday you decided you didn't need to wait for me to grab you running.

I was putting you down for a nap. On an average day, you lay there in bed and talk yourself to sleep. You will not get out of bed under any circumstances until mom yells "come upstairs." For this reason you have been know to sit there until you pee yourself and start crying. I thought today would be like any other day, but I was wrong. Today, when you felt the urge to go to the bathroom, you got up and went. Problem is, you normally sit on the potty until I hear you yell "all done" and I come and help you wipe. So while I thought you were asleep, you sat on the potty waiting for mom to come help you wipe. Well you must have gotten bored waiting. I could here you talking but didn't realize you were telling me you were done. Soon enough you are screaming and I come running to find this...

You tried wiping yourself and ended up using the entire roll. When you flushed, the toilet was clogged and the water kept running. The water level was getting so high in the toilet that it touched your bum and you started scooting all around covering my toilet in poop. By the time I got there, the water was about 2 inches high and leaking into your bedroom on the carpet.

Panicking, I turned the toilet water source off, put and towel at the door to stop the water from leaking out anymore, and began scooping was much water and baby waste into the tub as I could to prevent any more damage. Meanwhile you were still scared and screaming. I threw my poo covered baby in the shower with a toy and called daddy and made him come home early to help me with the rest of this mess. These are the pics I snapped so daddy could examine what mess he was coming home to.

I feel bad for your bathroom. You have put it through a lot while potty training.

potty training

 A month ago your parents did the unthinkable, we starting potty training you. I guess you could say it was because we got fed up buying diapers for both you and your brother, or changing a two year old is not a fun experience, whatever the case, it was one loooong day. 

First, you picked out a sweet "Cars 2" potty that came suped up with a gear shifter for your entertainment.

 Next, we loaded you up with all of your favorite drinks, determined to get you to pee every 15 minutes

Last we made sure your bud George kept you company while we waited for you to do your thing.

Fourteen accidents on day 1, two accidents on day 2, and no accidents on day 3! I am pretty impressed you got most of this potty training thing down. I say "most" becuase you have yet to poop successfully on the potty. Fortunately, bed wetting is not a thing we need to worry about, you have always been pretty good at holding it while you sleep. So thankful to be beyond diapers!

Curbed

Your excitement for the playground got the best of you. The moment daddy got you out of the car and set you on the asphalt, you took off. Unfortunately, your feet couldn't keep up with the rest of your body. Within seconds your face ended up on the curb. Here's to your first black eye.


Day 1

Day 3

Day 5

Turning two has resulted in far more cuts, and bumps, and bruises than mom ever expected. You are becoming more and more like daddy everyday. Momma is just crossing her fingers that there will be no plastic surgeon for awhile!

Easter

Truthfully, we expected more out of you! Last year you nearly tripled the number of eggs you found, and you were up against all the kids in St. George under 4 years of age. This year, you were up against mom and dad. After convincing you to pick up 9 whole eggs, we gave up. It was clear you preferred eating your jelly beans, rolling around in the dirt, and chasing your new soccer ball. You are an independent, active little man.

Momma and Daddy enjoyed every second watching you, regardless of your egg hunting shortcomings!

bad habits

It occured to me on Sunday, when you had shoved a cell phone down another woman's blouse, that I may have taught you some bad habits. You have seen your momma on far too many occasion run out places to hold cell phones, and not so discretely tuck them in her shirt.

I also wonder if i had an influence, some way or another, with you coloring on my bath tub?

Or insiting on wearing glasses to watch movies?

How about enjoying the nude after a shower?

Or playing with your food, rather than eating it?

Spending saturday mornings in bed til noon?

I would love to take credit for your love of sweeping, but am afraid I cant.

And you have recently gotten in a habit of lifting woman's dresses and skirts for fun too. I choose to not take any credit for that!

Curiosity getting the better of you

Do you know what the first thing I noticed about you when you were a baby? Those curly toes of yours. Those perfectly small, wiggly toes. They were so small. So fragile. Soft. I loved kissing them. Toes, of all thing, were the first thing I noticed. They alone made me fall in love with you. And then I discovered your teeny tiny hands. I fell in love all over again. Your precious hands that you insisted keeping near your face. Those perfect hands that loved to touch my face. You were prefect, everything about you was perfect.

And then you learned to use those precious little phalanges ….

You extend your reach by putting all of your force onto those tiny toes. You tip-toe around my coffee table just so you can get a centimeter closer to a not so edible object. You spread those fingers with every hope to grab something that comes along your way. You delicately pick up sharp objects that momma didn’t even know she had in her house.

Your curiosity has gotten the best of you, and your phalanges have only added to the problem….

That’s right. You have learned to use those precious little fingers and toes that I love so much, to get into some pretty nasty situations.

love, momma

big boys don't cry, little ones do

You are my little scaredy cat. I attempted to use my mixer today to make some yummy treats. You cried every time it turned on. Smiled when it went off. It makes baking difficult.

You are also scared of…

My blow-dryer

Vacuuming

When I leave

High pitch voices

The garage door opening

Coughing too loud (whether its you or me)

The dark

sneezes

The movie Avatar

When dad calls your name from downstairs

New people

Sewing Machines

The wind

Turning on the faucet

Your Johnny Jumper

Oddly enough you are not scared of….

Edge of the bed

Falling

Being thrown in the air

The stairs

Sharp objects

Chewing on wires

I can only laugh, i am fairly positive that your fears of everything come from me! You wanna know what i was scared of when i was little?

Yup. I was terrified that these freaky little trolls lived under my bed. I even made your auntie stef take the bottom bunk so that they could get her and not me. These days my fears are limited to the dark. Don't laugh, i get enough of that from your dad!

Love you baby boy,

momma

on the move

Little mister. My little stinker. Thanksgiving came and went, and you slept through most of it. Its strange, Momma never thinks she can get anything done, but you are sleeping around 15-17 hours a day. That’s 70% of your day, spent sleeping! I suppose I can’t blame it on you after all?

Did you know you had lots of babysitters this weekend? Aunties, Grandmas, an Uncle, and even a Great Grandma. You didn’t cease to shine in all of the attention.

Your aunties being the forcefully athletic people that they are, got sick of hearing momma say “no” to working out. So they moved onto their next victim, you. They propped you up on all fours, clapped lots, gasped more, and teased you with toys and food. Within a week, you did it. You are crawling. It may be only a few steps at a time, but you are officially mobile.

I wish I could say that you were crawling with more excitement, but now a new challenge begins for momma. Just when I thought I had started getting it together, I could handle the “oral phase.” My quick fingers would swiftly removed hazardous object from your mouth often. Choking has decreased to a minimum. Just when I had it down, you mix it up! Now, you have started moving AND eating! I am trying to mentally prepare for keeping my feet as quick as my fingers!

You may not be making messes yet, but I suppose I will try and be excited with the fact that now you are crawling, I can truly blame you for my chaotic house, or the fact that I can only find one of my shoe in the morning. Not to worry little man, this will only last until the next one comes around. For now you must take the blame, because frankly, momma is sick of hearing dad argue back that it wasn’t him. Your auntie Amanda understands. She had it rough too. Mommas blaming their children. You can confide in her!

Momma is proud of her active little man. Look how big you are these days…




Love momma.

bath time bust

You did it. I didn't think it would ever happen, and it happened. Other mommas told me it would happen, and I didn't want to believe them. Today you made bath time miserable for momma. Today momma learned the hard way, that babies can't control their bowels.

Before...

During....

After...

Yup, you pooped in the tub, who does that?!?!? On the bright side your tummy felt better. The downside, bath time ended fast. Momma spent lots of time cleaning out the tub.