Turning three

This year was like the last, and the next, and for as long as I can keep this going. I spent hours blowing up balloons on the eve of your birthday, flooding your bedroom floor with color, all so that you would wake up to a fun surprise and start your day off great. Asher starting whining at 8am on the dot, as per usual. Momma and daddy hustled down stairs in hopes to catch your surprised little face at the wonderful sight of birthday awesomeness. Turns out, baby Asher whines are not enough to wake you up. Neither was a kiss from momma, a shake from daddy, rubbing your back and whispering in your ear, tugging on you begging you to get up. At this point, you were too tired to roll in the direction to see your balloons, I decided to give Asher a shot at it. He c,imbed all over you, even sat on your head. You eventually rolled over, and it was well worth it. You rolled right out of your bed in to the pillowy goodness, and spent the next half hour kicking those balloons with all the excitement a momma wants for her child on their birthday.

Because it was your special day, we did special things. Streamers covered all of our walls, and dinosaurs were strung around, since dinosaurs make you happy. You ate pancakes for breakfast, and got all the orange juice you could handle for one sitting.you even got to eat on the "you are special" plate, because you are.

Since your birthday fell on a Sunday this year, we spent a good amount of the day at church. You cried When we made you go to sacrament Before nursery, and You cried when it was time to leave. We only got you out of that church by telling you that your cousins were coming over that night.

Your small party consisted of you cousins, Emmy, jake, mana, David, Steffy, grandma and grandpa. By the time they arrived you didn't need your dessert bar or your gifts, you seemed pretty thrilled that our tiny living room was so full of people paying attention to you. We had cupcakes, and ice cream, and cookies. Your favorite part, bar none, was the lemonade. Everything sugary and sweet just like you would always have it if you had the choice.

When it came time to open present Gavin was pretty stoked. He knelt beside you and anxiously waited for you to tear open every gift, and when you didn't do it fast enough, he gladly did it for you. Great team work. You were quite spoiled this year, your family sure love you!

You played outside until it was dark, and your little body was very ready for bed. Minutes after laying you down, you were sleeping. It was a perfect birthday for the boy that insisted he was not three today.

potty training

 A month ago your parents did the unthinkable, we starting potty training you. I guess you could say it was because we got fed up buying diapers for both you and your brother, or changing a two year old is not a fun experience, whatever the case, it was one loooong day. 

First, you picked out a sweet "Cars 2" potty that came suped up with a gear shifter for your entertainment.

 Next, we loaded you up with all of your favorite drinks, determined to get you to pee every 15 minutes

Last we made sure your bud George kept you company while we waited for you to do your thing.

Fourteen accidents on day 1, two accidents on day 2, and no accidents on day 3! I am pretty impressed you got most of this potty training thing down. I say "most" becuase you have yet to poop successfully on the potty. Fortunately, bed wetting is not a thing we need to worry about, you have always been pretty good at holding it while you sleep. So thankful to be beyond diapers!

happy zipper day

I cried today. Not my usual blubbering crying where the words I am saying don't make a lot of sense.  It was a lot like two years ago today. Two years ago when I brought you home from the hospital after your big surgery. Then, I was relieved to have you in my arms again, ready for you to thrive for the first time. Now, its because I don't know that I could have imagined what I was going to miss out on had you not come home with me that day. Now its that you are not only thriving, you are a little person.

You are my toddler that spends all labor day snuggling up to a fake deer. You are  my toddler that is caught shaving his legs with my razor. You live in this world where the only food worth eating is bananas and chicken nuggets, where the hardest part of your day is when you reluctantly put every single juice box away when you are told "no more." You are my toddler that wakes up from naps naked. My toddler that cant resist a dog pile. You cry when I cry, and yell when I yell. You are my toddler that is afraid of the vacuum, my toddler that can't resist sweeping. You spend most of the day in a world where toy whales fly, and toy elephants give kisses. The thought of missing any of these moments makes me even more grateful for today, the day i got to bring you home again.

Little mister, I am looking forward to the many zipper days to come.

Love, momma

bear lake

You lucked out when the friends that invited momma and daddy to Bear Lake insisted that you tag along too. So not only did you get to come, you got to do everything the adults did. You went tubing and four wheeling, and you even got to stay up late to make s'mores.

The first day on the lake you were so anxious to get on the tube that you and daddy toppled in the lake, head first, missing the tube entirely. The cold water caught you off guard, but you were a champ, toughed it out with not a single tear, just a lot of heavy breathing. In no time you were used to the water and loving the tube, so much so we couldnt get you off it. You would say "whoa!" and "Aw shoot!" with every bump. When you weren't being tossed around you talked a lot about the "wayer" and the "beeds," in other words, the water and the birds.

Believe it or not, we made it home with no sun burns!

water baby

As difficult as it was to get you in the water at the beginning of summer, our work has more than paid off. Now we can't seem to get you out of it. Loving having a water baby!

big bed for a big boy

One of my favorite thing about waking up to you talking this past week, is finding you in the dark reading books on your big boy bed.

I thought the transition from crib to bed would be difficult. You LOVE your crib, and occasionally ask to play in it in the middle of the day. I also worried about how wild of a sleeper you are. Would you even be able to stay on it? But most of all, I hated the thought of you being such a big boy. Sadly, the transition was a breeze, you really are a big boy.

Sure, you got close to falling off that first night, but you have successfully slept on your bed, with no tears for a whole week. And best of all, you stay there in the mornings until I come get you. You have plenty of books to keep you entertained while you wait!

Big brother

On June 9th, 2012 at 11:29am you became a big brother.

Walking into the hospital to meet your baby for the first time was pretty scary. You had spent the night at Grandmas and were so eager to be held by daddy that you didn't have a lot of time to pay attention to Asher. But, once your cousins arrived at the hospital you felt much better about being there. You even got excited to hold you baby for the first time. Now that you have taken your baby home from the hospital, you think you are supposed to hold your baby all the time! You LOVE being a big brother. And other than the fact you just push him off your lap when you are done holding him, you are a great big brother.

You have gotten really good at sharing, you even put Hot Wheels cars in Asher's hands when he is sleeping, or run them over him face to wake him up. You love to feed your baby, you even took a bottle off the counter when mom was on the phone and attempted to feed your baby. When I came over to help you get the bottle in his mouth Asher's whole face was white, covered in formula. You love to console your baby, when he starts crying you run to his side and lay your head on his tummy. It hasn't worked yet, so instead we are trying to teach you to put his pacifier in his mouth. You miss his mouth most of the time, but you sure love to try.

Momma is so grateful that Asher has a big brother like you.

Curbed

Your excitement for the playground got the best of you. The moment daddy got you out of the car and set you on the asphalt, you took off. Unfortunately, your feet couldn't keep up with the rest of your body. Within seconds your face ended up on the curb. Here's to your first black eye.


Day 1

Day 3

Day 5

Turning two has resulted in far more cuts, and bumps, and bruises than mom ever expected. You are becoming more and more like daddy everyday. Momma is just crossing her fingers that there will be no plastic surgeon for awhile!

Turning Two

Turning two can be hard to do. Nap times don't seem as cool, and time outs are a total bummer. But the day you turned two there was none of that, just party time from the moment you woke up until you went to bed. Momma and daddy spent hours the night before your birthday blowing up balloons. That's right, 57 balloons filled up by us. Looking back, we probably should have rented a machine to do the job in a fraction of the time. After filling them up we very quietly snuck them into your room so you could wake up to an awesome surprise.

Momma and daddy anxiously waited to hear your excitement on the monitor the next morning, but instead we heard your usual chit chat to yourself. We hurried down singing Happy Birthday. You were still half asleep and hadn't even noticed the party on the floor of your room. Having fallen asleep in a chocolate covered white t-shirt from the night before, you ferociously played in your balloons not even paying attention to the fact that you were missing pants and were in need of a bath. Fortunately for you, you LOVE baths so your most perfect day continued with bath time. 

Later we met up with your favorite people at the park, your cousins. Aunty Em, Uncle Jake, Grandma, and Grandpa joined in on the festivities. There were basketballs, baseballs, Frisbees, and best of all a Gage size golf club and gold balls. While most of us ate you spent a good hour in the hot sun playing golf. We celebrated with yummy cupcakes that melted in our mouths. You got lots of awesome presents, and you made every one feels special when you opened them because everything was "aw cool!" The Hot Wheels and parking garage seemed to make you most excited, until you opened your Toy Story figurines, and then you got your own tool set and drills. You couldn't decide between the three what was your favorite so you spent the remainder of the afternoon at home switching from on to the next to the next and back again. Our living room was covered in toys and was a a disaster, just the way you like it. 

Because it was the best day ever, there was even more cupcakes involved and another bath. After staying up WAY past your bed time, we finished the night off reading every single one of your favorite books. It took awhile to get through them all, but once we finished one you were up and at them picking out another. You certainly took advantage of your day and got whatever your little heart desired.

I can't believe that it was two whole years ago that you graced us with your presence. Two years ago you made me a momma, and I haven't been happier. I worry sometimes how quickly it has gone, have I hugged you enough? held you enough? loved you enough? Did I make the most of every moment before it was gone? Little mister, you remind regularly how much you love me, and it makes me feel like I am doing something right. I know I mess up constantly, but when I ask you how old you are and your face lights up, and you hold up your index finger and your thumb, and in that high pitch voice say "two!!!" I know having you was the smartest thing I have ever done. You make my life so much fuller, so much happier. I am looking forward to an adventurous year. I love you little mister, Happy Birthday.

Love, momma

Easter

Truthfully, we expected more out of you! Last year you nearly tripled the number of eggs you found, and you were up against all the kids in St. George under 4 years of age. This year, you were up against mom and dad. After convincing you to pick up 9 whole eggs, we gave up. It was clear you preferred eating your jelly beans, rolling around in the dirt, and chasing your new soccer ball. You are an independent, active little man.

Momma and Daddy enjoyed every second watching you, regardless of your egg hunting shortcomings!

Ipads

How did we ever pass the time without Ipads?

Between you and your baby brother, I am pretty worn out by the middle of the day. Fortunately, there are lots of fun Ipad apps that read books to you, or sing when you touch them. We spend way too much time playing games, and justifying it with the excuse that they are educational. Regardless, I love my time cuddling with my half naked baby.

Congenital Heart Defect Awareness Week

Did you know that it is Congenital Heart Defect Awareness week? That may be a mouthful but it is a pretty special thing. Its a week dedicated to the awareness of heart conditions just like yours.

"Congenital heart defect" meant nothing to me until 2 years ago. I don't think I had every really considered what it was, or that it could happen to someone so close to me. I was more than half way through my pregnancy and everything was going as planned. I remember the day we got to see your face for the first time. December 2nd. I got choked up, and I think daddy even cried. It was the day that everything became real. You weren't an "it", you were a "he", you were my Gage. I remembering wanting to hold you so badly that I found myself constantly rocking and holding my belly. Daddy would talk to you every night. You were perfect.

I received a DVD in the mail only 2 weeks later with the whole ultrasound. Daddy doesn't know it but I used to watch it when I was home alone. I loved the soothing sound of your heartbeat. There was no reason to think you would come into this world suffering in any way. You can imagine that it came as a surprise to us when they wanted to take you to the NICU for the first time. The nurse had stepped out of our room for the night, daddy hit the lights and we gave you lots of kisses before setting you down to sleep right by my bedside. Sounds perfect, right? Well, we lay there for a few minutes, and I think I checked on you at least 7 times. I may not have known a lot about newborns, but your breathing was even more irregular as the day had gone on, it was at its worst, and it seemed hard for you to catch your breath. I thought the Hospital was taking extra precautions when they took you away from us that night, they thought it would be best for you to sleep with more supervision. And that was the start of a very hard week.

Test after test, they still couldn't quite figure out what the problem was. I was anxious to have you in my arms again. I got to visit you every 3 hours around the clock. I fed you, I changed you and then I was asked to leave and sit in a waiting room while you rested. Sure you breathed a little funny but was it really necessary to keep you from me? April 26th is when we finally got the news that you had 2 heart defects. I was handed a piece of paper with some information about your septal defect. What did it all mean? I was looking at gibberish. Your uncle Rocky was in Med school at the time, and you can imagine he was bombarded with questions, we all wanted to better understand the severity of the situation, and if you were going to be okay. It wasn't too much longer that we were finally able to take you home.

I don't think I slept that first night at home.We checked on you constantly. I would get my head really close to your face so that I could feel your breath. We were told there was nothing we could do at that time and that we just needed to love you. Hopefully everything would heal on its own. We sure hoped.

As time moved forward it became hard to be scared of your heart defects, you were so happy. We didn't realize at the time that sleeping as much as you were was a symptom of heart failure. We had no idea that you had started to get so skinny, and that eating should not be that much work. You were easy, and you made motherhood a dream for a young student like myself. So we kept on living. We didn't want to slow down. We took you every where. You were at your first Jazz party the day you came home form the Hospital, a professional football game at 2 weeks, the zoo at 3 weeks. Momma and daddy were even crazy enough to haul you to Costa Rica at 6weeks old. You were portable, and perfect, and were always up for the adventures.

It wasn't until we returned from our ventures and you had a check up that we realized the issues with your heart were more serious that we had realized. That appointment with Dr. Schmidt was suppose to be a well-baby check up. This was the first time daddy couldn't make it to an appointment, so I tried to hold myself together and not over think the reason we were asked to get an x-ray and blood tests. I received a call from the nurse while I was at work only 2 days after. She said that she had scheduled an appointment with the a cardiologist at Primary Children s, and that the x-ray you had had indicated that your heart was enlarged. She tried to console me. Se stayed on the line asking what she could do for me. It was obvious she could sense the tears running down my face.

By your first cardiology appointment it was made clear that you were in heart failure and would need surgery in the future. It was so hard for me to grasp at the time that this was the best thing for you. Your dad on the other hand never questioned it. When he had heard that this was an option he wanted it sooner rather than later, he knew that if we were able to get you the surgery you would be on your way to a healthy life. It makes so much sense now that we are beyond that stage of life, but at the time, the thought made me cringe, it made me ball. I hated having to discuss the details with everyone. I remember trying to keep it secret as to distract myself from thinking about it all together. Being alone was hard. Too bad everyone loved you and everyone wanted to know everything. Weeks leading up to your surgery I was numb to the details. I could spit out all sorts of big words, and your dad could draw fancy pictures. We knew more about the heart and more about congenital heart defects than ever before. It is now a part of all of our lives.

Congenital heart defects are present at birth, and are a common cause of death in newborns. We have been so blessed to know from such an early stage in your life that this would be something that you would be dealing with for the rest of your life. We are even more blessed to be so close to a Primary Children s Hospital, with amazing doctors that care so much about you. Appointment after appointment, the defects seemed to multiply. And even after your surgery they seem to continue to appear. At one point I think we were up to 8 defects in your itty bitty heart? How it is still functioning, we have no idea. I like to think its because you are needed here on Earth for a bigger better purpose. I certainly need you, who else will feed me all their goldfish handfuls at a time? or spend an hour making faces to the ipad to pass the time when I am bored? Who else will insist that we snuggle when I am cranky? And who will laugh at my stories when they are not even funny?

I think it is great that there is a special week dedicated to remembering that congenital heart defects are a scary thing. I appreciate so much all the efforts made to research, education, and better technology, so that babies in the future suffering from Congenital heart defects can grow as big and as strong as you.