dear gage

gage, I just got a picture of you and the family from Christmas Day and you are getting so big already. I've only been gone 8 weeks - what is going on?! why do you grow so fast? And why doesn't your mom update me with pictures?

So on a different note...I'm seeing some pretty funny things in the MTC and I've got some words of advice. When you play volleyball during gym, it's ok to have romance - but don't make it so obvious that it becomes the topic of gym conversation. However, I will give you props for being able to grab a sister who is years older than you. But be dignified for crying out loud.

Also, as soon as you learn to walk and run, can you drive your mom crazy for me? Since i am not there to do it!

You are so loved! I am so glad that you are my nephew and that you're the strength that your family needed. I love you little Gage and look forward to the day, 16 1/2 month from now, when I get to have a huge hug from you. I love you so much. Keep having fun - you won't be little forever.

Love, Auntie Steffie

Colds, Couches, and Crackers

(a glimpse of the snot we dealt with on a constant basis)

We were sick this weekend. And when I say we, I mean you got stuffy. Momma held you lots. Then Momma got stuffy. Daddy kissed momma lots. And what do you know. Daddy got stuffy.

After stuffy, came feeling miserable. Sunday afternoon we laid on the couch, I mean all of us, all day. Momma at one end, daddy on the other, and a big comfy blanket on top of us. We were prepared with tissues, a remote control, and crackers on the random occasion that we got appetites.

Oh little one, you were there too. You slept 90% of the day. On the occasions you were not sleeping you would crawl/climb back and forth from momma to daddy. Often we even got big slobbery kisses. Once you even mistook daddy’s nose for food, or at least that's what i choose to believe. You see you have a new fetish with nibbling on noses and ears.

By Monday you were waking up with snot crusted to your face so thick it created a seal on your nose. You couldn’t breathe, and yet you still managed to smile when I came to get you in the morning. Momma and daddy had to go back to work. You sweet auntie watched you lots. Now momma is just hoping you didn’t pass your bug to all of your cousins.

As the week went on your symptoms stayed the same, and yet nothing slowed you down. You managed to pull yourself up on the couch like you always have. Once you were standing up tall, you would wipe that nose right into my couch. Not only is your clothing and your face coated in snot, but just about everything in my living room.

I hate that your sick, but I love that you try to enjoy it. You have let me hold you more this week than you have in the last several months. You graciously let me tickle your tummy as we watch movies together. You love to put your sweet little arms around my neck and scream. And you can’t resist high-fiving my face with excitement. You have perfected open mouth kisses. I have got to be the luckiest momma in the world, and because I am so lucky, it doesn’t look like I am getting over this bug until you do.

Love, Momma.

Tis' the Season

(not loving it, deciding to give it a chance, enjoying it, and then refusing to come out)

Firsts:

• Meeting your baby cousin Sofi, and when I say meeting I mean mom and dad met her, you were too small, and didn’t seem to have interest

• Seeing the Zoo lights, and wearing all your warm winter get up.

• Road trip, all the way to St. George. It was much too long in your opinion

• Meeting Santa, a terrifying experience!
  

• Christmas, and you even celebrated it twice

• New Years, sadly you slept through it

Accomplishments this month:

• Crawling up stairs 63 secs flat

• Standing up in your crib, and even attempting pull-ups

• Pulling every single thing out of momma’s drawer in 34 seconds flat

• The best seeker I know in a game of hide and seek

• Coming in heavier than every baby a month older than you

• Discovering the Blu-Ray player opens

Favorites:

• Favorite toy: (other than the broom) The blue wire that hides under the coffee table, just out of your reach, oh and moms workout bands.

• Favorite food: Anything mom or dad is eating, You have also been diggin’ your squash these days

• Favorite time of the day: Bath time. Its gotten to the point that momma drains the tub just to get you out

• Favorite Christmas gift: Its a tie, between your own set of keys and your own cell phone....ok i confess those are moms favorite gifts for you, if only you thought they were as cool as mine.
  

It’s been an eventful Month to say the least. You are as boy as it gets. You love to wrestle. There is no challenge you won’t meet. If you could climb all day you would, this includes the obvious stairs and couches, and the less obvious mom and dad. I even caught you trying to get those teeny little hands in the toilet the other day. You are adventurous and active, to say the least. Everyone loves you, and you have a way of smiling that says “I love you too.”

What a cutie! Love momma

@10:47am 3months, 2 weeks, and 1 day post surgery

Little mister. You met with that big fancy doctor, you know, Dr. Mart, the one that comments on daddy's beard every time he sees it, as if its the first time he has seen it. He was checking up on that heart of yours. He wanted to make sure that the titanium piece in your heart was doing what it was supposed to, plugging that big hole of yours.

First they did an x-ray. You hate those. They force you to put those squishy arms of yours above your head. And if that isn't bad, they stretch your legs straight. You cried. They worried. Dad held you. And it was all better. This process repeated a few times. The doctors had a hard time getting a clear image. It turns out you are a wiggler, who knew?!?

Next they tested your blood pressure. Little do the nurses know, my baby doesn't like laying still for long periods of time. The only way to keep you still enough was to blow teeny tiny bubbles in your face. This worked. You ate as many of those bubbles as you could as they floated around the room and settled on your face. In fact, you did so good focusing on the bubbles and not the blood pressure test, that they jumped at the chance to do an ekg right then and there.

Then, my favorite part. They messured how big and strong you have become! You came in at a whopping 20.5lbs. That's 7lbs since surgery! Its good to see you so "thick," excuse my lack for a better word! You are now 28.5 inches long. No more twiggy limbs, instead, lots of rolls all over you body, perfect for nuzzling...oh and occasionally nibbling!

Your heart is still enlarged. For anyone that knows you, that doesn't comes as a surprise, *wink . Dr. Mart says that your heart tissue stretched before surgery. You see, one of the holes in your heart caused the blood to flow incorrectly. Your heart was working so hard just to pump the blood where it was supposed to go, that it became big in the process. Good news little man. They think you will grow into that enlarged heart just fine!

When Dr. Mart used his fancy stethoscope, he could hardly hear that murmur. He thinks the heart tissue is growing around your titanium plug perfectly, sealing off your heart chambers.

Little mister, momma feels so blessed to have doctors like Dr. Mart to care for little babies like you. Modern medicine is an amazing thing. You are a part of that medicine's progression. They don't know how your heart will react to that titanium piece 20 years from now. They don't know if this will be an effective procedure when your 40. They don't know if that titanium will rub against your heart tissue causing problems. Even those miracles workers don't have all the answers.

I want to question. Just hearing this makes momma cringe. What have I put my baby through? What will you have to endure in the long run? I often worry that the decision i made to have this particular procedure will cause harm down the road, and possibly another surgery. But i keep reminding myself that without smart doctors trying new procedures, we wouldn't have heart surgery at all. And without open heart surgery, i may not have my baby with me today. You are a lucky little man. You were number 3 to get this procedure here in Utah. You were the third baby to have a faster open heart surgery, number three to have a quicker healing process, this makes you a part of history.

Yes, you will have to meet with those big fancy doctors for the rest of your life, and yes, you will have to have all those tests run. But I also know that you will continue to grow even bigger, and even stronger. You will get to play all of those fun games, and get into all kinds of trouble. I love the thought of you living a long healthy life. You have always been a fighter, and little mister, momma wants you to keep on fighting!

love, Momma

big boys don't cry, little ones do

You are my little scaredy cat. I attempted to use my mixer today to make some yummy treats. You cried every time it turned on. Smiled when it went off. It makes baking difficult.

You are also scared of…

My blow-dryer

Vacuuming

When I leave

High pitch voices

The garage door opening

Coughing too loud (whether its you or me)

The dark

sneezes

The movie Avatar

When dad calls your name from downstairs

New people

Sewing Machines

The wind

Turning on the faucet

Your Johnny Jumper

Oddly enough you are not scared of….

Edge of the bed

Falling

Being thrown in the air

The stairs

Sharp objects

Chewing on wires

I can only laugh, i am fairly positive that your fears of everything come from me! You wanna know what i was scared of when i was little?

Yup. I was terrified that these freaky little trolls lived under my bed. I even made your auntie stef take the bottom bunk so that they could get her and not me. These days my fears are limited to the dark. Don't laugh, i get enough of that from your dad!

Love you baby boy,

momma

auntie stef

Steffi left us this week. You know, auntie Steffi. She is momma’s sister. I know you don’t see her much, its because she is always on the move, a lot like you, but she moves states, and sometimes countries. She is the one that jostles you around to make you tough. She has a miraculous way of keeping you happy when you tired, and as a result, causing you to stay up much too late. She loves to run her fingers over your face and babble, and you love it more when she does.

Steffi left us to go to Russia. That’s really far away. Its cold, and Steffi hates the cold. I hate to be the bearer of bad news but she will miss your first Christmas, your first birthday, and even your second birthday while she is there. I will miss her. But not to worry little man, we can write her often. I am sad to see her go but I know she will be doing a good thing while she is gone.

Saying goodbye is never fun. But we made the most of it...

In fact we even threw in a classic jumping pose, the last one til she returns....

(Notice Steffi's sock tan. Oh and Amanda is running in the air.
It doesn't even bother me that our heads of cut off!)

I think you miss her already, i can just tell!

short term memory

Little mister, I just hopes that you didn't get your lack of short term memory from momma. I managed to lock us out of the house yesterday. We cuddled in the car, wrapped in a blanket until we managed to come across a key.


Now that i think about it daddy has a bad short term memory too. So, the chances aren't in your favor that anything will differ, but we sure hope so!

Love, momma.