3.29.2011

just a day in the park...


...a very cold day in the park!

So, momma has this thing (and excuse my lack for a better word). This thing that drives her nuts to stay inside too much. Daddy will attest. Its a real thing, and it probably needs to be diagnosed, but momma isn't ready to put a name to this thing quite yet! Besides, you seem to enjoy the fact that this thing forces us to get out! After a FULL day inside it has managed to take us to cities that are too far away to be considered Salt Lake anymore, and it does so at odd hours. This thing regularly gets us out of the house and we end up at Red Mango far too late for a weeknight. This thing also has been known to take us Ikea, to do nothing but look around. Did you know I even wound up at Ikea only 4 hours before I went into labor with my lil man?

And on Sunday, it forced us to the park. This idea seemed so appropriate for a lazy Sunday afternoon. It seemed appropriate until we actually opened the doors to our cozy lil house and felt the temperature outside for the first time that day. But when this thing that I speak of wants out, we have got to listen! So, we bundled up, and went to the park as it directed.

Turns out, this thing I have is pretty smart after all. Rain or shine (but mostly shine), hot or cold (but mostly hot), the park is a perfect place for a lazy Sunday. Did you know that momma and daddy would even take walks before you came? Yup, on occasion we found ourselves in a snow storm with snowboard boots, trudging around our complex. Sundays we made for walks, or walks were made for Sundays. Whatever the case, you seem to think so too.

We walked the park, and you babbled the entire time. You even clapped when someone walked by. Its like you were proud that they were out there too. We took a ride on the swings, and you incessantly cocked your head back to admired the clouds. An old lady laughed as she walked by. You are such a people pleaser, and a flirt, depending on the crowd, just like your daddy.


Oh how I love our trips to the park! Momma and Daddy are antsy to get more of them as you become older (and as it becomes warmer). I catch daddy daydreaming out playing ball with you. He loves being your dad. You love it too.

Love, Momma

3.28.2011

Purposeful memory loss? I think not!

Remember that one time I hoped you wouldn't get a memory like mine? Well, I even more so hope you don't get a memory like dad. He has a tendency to not only leave the keys in the car during dinner, but he leaves the keys in the car while its running.

Did I mention the doors were unlocked?!?

That's right, in case you didn't pick up on it, some one could have stolen our 1995 Isuzu Trooper, and that would have been a shame! That car is planning on celebrating its 16th birthday this year! That means good 'ol Sarge can almost drive it's self! Oh, and she is aging beautifully!

(I told you she was a beauty!)

I hate to think that your daddy hates my car that much that he basically was giving it away in the Cafe Rio parking lot. So I am going to stick with the logic that he left the keys in the car on accident. Besides, his initial face when I found out read GUILT and EMBARRASSMENT. And I most definitely do not want to go into the fact that I catch him car shopping regularly behind my back! Let the record show, daddy definitely forgot he left the car running!

So here is to hoping you don't get momma's or daddy's memory....or lack of!

Love, momma

3.21.2011

Here's to the big 11!

Its all happening so fast. You are slowly becoming a toddler. You watch big boy tv, you eat big boy food. Did you know you ordered off the kids menu last week? Most of it ended up on the ground, but you ordered real food! This month has flown by, and I am not all that sure if I am ready for the next one. I am sure you will have to cope with me struggling at every new stage of life, because at heart, you will always be my baby, even if you are turning into a toddler.

Do you know you learned this month? You learned how to keep momma busier than ever by:
  • Pulling pots and pans out of the cupboards
  • Ripping apart my mail every chance you get
  • Lodging your teeny body between the fridge and the wall
  • Eating the piles of dirt I sweep up

Don't worry, you had it out for daddy too. You kept daddy busy by:
  • Wrestling each other
  • Watching ESPN together
  • Covering my living room with Legos
  • Reading every book in this household

Is it just me or does dad seem to have it better?!?! Must be just me, because after all, you are perfect!

Here's to your eleventh month of life! I have a feeling it might turn out to be an exciting one after all:




I couldn't be more proud of you!

Love, Momma

3.03.2011

dear gage

It was certainly difficult to read about this last hospital visit. I have had a little bit of experience with watching a little one being sedated and poked by doctors and nurses. Your Auntie Annie has spent her life having tests done at the hospital. However, she never had to be opened up like you! You are our little miracle. I, like your Nana, enjoy the times I have had the privilege of caring for you. What a joy you are to all of us. It won’t be long and you will be walking – running? Your mother will be running for sure then. Keeping moving and soon that little heart will be as good as new.

Love you so very much,

Grandma Linda

3.02.2011

@ 5 months, 3 weeks and a few hours later

Today we celebrate your 6 month zipper day! That is a bit of an over-statement considering your zipper is slowly disappearing, and to be completely honest, it was never very big to begin with! But we are happy none the less. You are stronger, chunkier, and happier than ever. See here, you even started to eat big boy food...



Last week, you had another appointment with some fancy doctors up at Primary Children’s. Every time we have appointments at Primary Childrens, the déjà-vu kicks in. We have to wake you up early, which I hate, and make you take some pedialyte, which you love. We then attempt to enjoy every last second at home, distracting you from the obvious hunger that is kicking in.

As always we jump into our white corolla. Daddy takes my hand immediately and holds it the entire way there. Maybe his intentions are to ease my oncoming fear, maybe it’s just habit. It helps. And I spend most of the drive with my head cocked backwards gazing at your cute face. We never say much. I think we all know there is not a lot to be said. No reason to question why, doesn’t make sense to dwell on the outcome quite yet. Deep down I think we both sit there quietly focused on our family. Our cute family. Hoping the best news for our little one.

Every time, without doubt, dad will turn a light too early. Get used to U-turns little one. There are a lot of them in this family! Maybe daddy is eager to get out of the car, or maybe his memory is really failing him, but he will always turn too early, and daddy will always have to turn around. When we get there, and as always, you seemed so relieved to be out of the car.

Today you were scheduled to get an echo, you know, the test that looks closely at your heart, the one that uses all that goo on your chest. Yeah, the one that leaves you all sticky for the remainder of the day. Thats the one. It also makes sure that the hole is your heart is completely sealed off and that the blood is flowing where it’s supposed to. But, it turns out, and it has been confirmed, even doctors tell me, that you are wiggly one. So this echo they had to sedate you.

After a few preliminary tests, Nurse Practioner Kellie talked to momma and daddy about the medicine that was supposed to help you stay still during the echo. While Kellie talked, you kept yourself pre-occupied by putting handful after handful of paper brochures in your mouth. You were passed hunger, you had hit starvation.

Finally, 4 hours after you had woken up, we were in the echo room. Moments later they had an IV in your hand. You were screaming, yanking on my hair, anything just to make sure I wouldn’t let go of you again, anything to make sure they wouldn’t touch you again. First medicine in the IV, and the crying stopped. Second medicine in the IV, you went straight to loopy. By the third medicine, your eyes were rolling, your laugh was deep, and you were happy as can be.

We laid you back down on the table. Your hands continued to wail around, as if you were playing with a non-existent mobile above your head. Turns out, they couldn’t get a good echo with you playing, so they upped the dosage and you spent the remaining hour of the test gazing into a nurse’s eyes.

When your echo was over, you were taken to recovery. We attempted to give you pedialyte (the last thing in the world you want when you are hungry), but you preferred to do “Triple sow-cows,” as Nurse Practioner Kellie called it. In other words, you were rolling. Your head flinging to-and-fro, arms flailing. You were as high as a kite. When the sedation started to wear off, hunger started to set in, we were finally able to get you to stay still enough to down 4 small bottles.

When all was said and done, Dr. Mart took time out of his busy schedule to talk to us about the results of your echo. Unfortunately, he let us know that there is still a residual hole in the lower chamber, your Ventricular Septal Defect. That Amplatzer is doing a good enough job that you are not showing any signs of heart failure, but the small hole could be the reason you still have another hole, your ASD as well. If those were the only issues, Dr. Mart would feel pretty confident that in time they would close and you wouldn’t know any different.

However, it never seems to work that way does it?

Dr. Mart reminded us of your other heart defects. The combination of your residual holes and your Bicuspid Aortic Valve, you will continue to see those sweet nurses, and good ‘ol Dr. Mart pretty regularly. It’s all right, I think you like him a lot. He is the only Doctor you let listen to your heart without insisting on yanking their Stethoscopes’.

Here are a few pictures of your Amplatzer:

So that thing pluggin' your heart is made of metal. Its heated just perfectly and molded into a specific shape to plug your hole. It's so cool, that it can keep its shape no matter how much you pull and twist. Once its been made, they screw it onto a little stick. They squeeze that stick and the Amplatzer into a teeny catheter and maneuver the catheter through your heart into the right place. Remember that stick, they use it to push the Amplatzer out of the catheter and into the hole. When its in, they simply twist and unscrew the the stick, and voila! Your hole is plugged!

If you look closely, you will see your Amplatzer. It's just hanging out in your heart on the right. And that's not all the metal you have in your little body. On the left your sternum was closed shut with wire. This makes you so cool.


Love, Momma!

3.01.2011

dear gage

I am so proud of you and what a trooper you have been through the ordeal with your damaged heart, the surgery and the titanium implant. You are bright, alert, and determined to keep going and survive this first challenge in your life. I’m sure over the years there will be various other challenges, and you, like each of us, will experience these challenges. They will be for your good and development and they will help you define who you are, but remember that you have power to overcome.

Heavenly Father has blessed you with an easy going, gentle, happy personality that makes it a delight to be around you, and contributes to everyone one you come in contact with falling in love with you. I have had the honor of getting to spend almost every work day with you for a couple of weeks before and after your surgery and have had an opportunity to get lots of one on one time with you, this has allowed me to build a bond with you that I would never have experienced otherwise. You smile, giggle, laugh and bring joy to my heart just by my being around you. We went for walks in the stroller everyday and were even adventurous enough to try a picnic and hike up to a beautiful waterfall in Little Cottonwood Canyon with your mom and Auntie Mana; the smell of the fresh pine, the beautiful scenery, the crisp cool air - it was exhilarating! We just wished Auntie Stef was there to be our drill sergeant pushing us forward and keep us laughing with her cute sense of humor; I guess we will just have to do it again when she returns. You will be 2 years old by then and will probably be running up and down the trail outdoing the rest of us with your boundless energy and enthusiasm.

As you grow you are becoming more active, alert and fun so I look forward to the times I get to spend with you, watching you change into the darling little man you are becoming. It takes such a short time to get attached to you, and feel that strong, loving bond. In February when I was watching you I felt so loved and accepted by you that it just melted my heart. While I was with you, we went for an outing to drop off a valentines gift for Auntie Stef at the MTC and when the clerk wanted your attention you turned away from her and reached quickly for me, snuggling your face into my neck. Oh my goodness, you are so precious, you instantly had me wrapped around that little finger of yours.

I recently heard a song that made me think of you and the feelings we had when you were first born, it is entitled “Little Child.” You had such perfect little hands and little feet, you had such cute rosy little cheeks, it was truly a blessing to be at the hospital 10 minutes after your birth and see you, hold you, and smell your sweet baby smell.




Love,

Nana