Dear Gage
I love it that your mom calls you Little Mister. Your daddy calls me Big Papa Dick. We are both so cool!!!
That day in early September when you were in the operating room at Children's Hospital getting your heart fixed, I sat in the waiting room with your mom and dad and some of your other relative's. That day in many ways was for me " da ja' vu all over again. In 1991 I spent a lot of time in Children's Hospital in San Diego when your momma was very, very sick with something nasty called Hemolytic Uremic Syndrome. Ironically her days at Children's was also in the month of September. What I experienced with your mother, way back in the day has had a profound effect on me ever since. Firstly, because of that experience, I have felt a special bond with your mother because of that crisis. I love all of my children very deeply. But there is something unique about going through a life threatening incident with another person. From day one of your mom's hospitilization, one of the treatments she required was blood transfusions. She and I have the same type (O+). I told them to take all that they needed from me, in order to save my little girl. They took what they could, and then got some more from off the shelf, and then some more from good people in our ward who donated. The other treatment was dialysis. And that treatment did not go well in the beginning. The lines were in, but the fluids were not circulating right. The toxins were not draining out of her body. On one particular night, your mom got dathly ill. Her little body was bloated and she was very, very sick. I sat there in ICU, with her, in the stillness of the night. Doctors and nurses came and went, frustrated that the dialysis was not working. I was becoming more and more frightened with each passing hour. The second thing that happened whic remained was the lesson I learned about prayer and faith and priesthood. Earlier that same night a man from the ward came to the hospital and we gave your mom a priesthood blessing. I blessed her that she would be well and that the treatments would work. I blessed her that Heavenly Father would heal her and give her a long and healthy life. I wanted that so very bad. But as the night went on, it started to look like the blessing would not pan out. It seemed like hope and faith were more like wishful thinking. I knew God could heal her, but I was beginning to wonder if He would actually intervene and save her. I was at one of those " My will vs. His will" crossroads of life. At one point, one of the nurses looked panicked. She gave me the impression that if the dialysis did not start working soon, Natalie might not make til morning. I agonized and I cried and I prayed. And finally I gave up. I told Heavenly Father that if it was "His Will" that my baby die, then go ahead and take her. Don't let her suffer and please help me to accept it, and not be bitter about it."
And here is the lesson learned. The moment I gave in and stopped pleading for what I wanted. The moment I honestly and faithfully declared "Thy will be done" everything changed.. Within an hour the dialysis just started to work. Toxic fluids started to drain out. Your mom's kidneys could rest and heal. The blood transfusion nourished her body until her own blood was right. God did in fact give me exactly what I did want. But he did not do it until I was willing to show enough faith and trust in Him to bring to pass the best outcome. Only when I gave up my most urgent desires, and accept His will, did he grant my most deepest desire. Strange as that may sound, it has been one of the most important experiences of my life. My faith and trust in Jesus Christ has much of it's root from that dark night in Children's Hospital with your mother, back in September of 1991.
Fast forward now and let me tell you why I was at peace that day in the waiting room while you were in surgery just a few weeks ago. Many years ago I damaged my knee playing sports as a youngster. Over time the bones in my knee disintegrated. And the time drew near when I knew it was time to undergo a major surgery of my own, in order to get the malady corrected. I prayed and prayed. I really did not want a surgery. But the voice of the spirit whispered to me when I prayed. "It's time" Is what I kept hearing. I was led to a doctor who concured that I needed a new joint. A date was set for July 1. A couple of weeks before the surgery I was up in Utah to participate in your baby blessing and the baby blessing of your cousin James. During that visit, I asked your mom's brother's, Uncle Jason and Uncle Rocky to give me a blessing for my surgery. Now I had more faith than in 1991. I had more trust. With confidence, I asked Jason to bless me that I would not only be healed in a remarkable way, but that I would not experience the horrific pain that most people feel after such a procedure. He did just that . And a peace settled in and I knew that what I requested was what God was willing to grant. And it all worked out. Within two weeks after my surgery I was able to go to the temple to be with your aunt Stefanie when she took out her endowments. No severe pain ever set in. And I was able to drive to Utah and comfortably wait at the hospital during your operation, just one month after my own. I even went and hit golf balls with my dad just before I came back to California. It was truly a miracle...AGAIN....just like 1991.
Little Mister. The experience I had in those weeks just prior to your surgery made me feel like you could have a miracle too. I did pray for those weeks that you would be healed without a surgery. I put your name on the prayer list at the temple. And I continued to try and accept the will of the Father. His will was that you needed to undergo the surgery, and he would provide the way for you to have a successfull procedure and heal up well. Because I understood that as I drove to Utah, I felt sure that giving you a blessing of healing would be the right thing to do. With Full Faith in Jesus Christ, your dad and myself laid our hands on your head just hours before your operation and blessed you to have a successful surgery and that you would heal without complications and be well. As I said Amen, a peace settled in on me. I KNEW that you were going to be all right. As I sat in the waiting room, never once did I worry or fret about you. I knew it was going all right. Your short stay in ICU and your short stay on the floor was further evidence to me that God was holding you in his hands.
I will conclude with this and want you grasp a hold of the concept. I knew that you would be OK when PEACE settled in on me. Feeling peace is evidence that the Holy Ghost is present. And when the Holy Ghost is present, the Atonement is automatically working. The Savior blessed your doctors, He blessed you, and he got you through the acute phase and He is healing you now. And now you have a chance to thrive rather than merely survive. The atonement is working when the Holy Ghost is present. And we know the Holy Ghost is present when we peace God's Peace. That concept is one of the most remarkable concepts I have ever learned.
Gage Mason Moore....I love you Little Mister! I love your mother! And I love your Father! Your family is a great blessing to me!
Big (Grand) Papa Dick
